I follow an account on Facebook called, “Finding Coopers Voice.” It is a beautiful blog run by a mother who has a son with autism who is nonverbal. One of her latest posts discussed the challenges she has faced with learning how to effectively play with her child with autism. She said and I quote, “My son wouldn’t play with me. In fact, he didn’t play at all. He watched his tv shows and he wandered. That’s it.” In reading this post I realized how common it is for parents to feel this way about struggling to play with their children with special needs. However, parents are often apprehensive to come forward and ask for advice or help surrounding this topic of playing with their chldren because they feel like they should naturally know how to. Let me tell you, this is not the case! It can be incredibly challenging to learn how to effectively play with children with special needs. The Early Start Denver Model (ESDM) (i.e. a comprehensive therapy approach for children with autism) has a parent manual where they lay out 5 steps to gaining your child’s attention which is so helpful when attempting to play with them.

Identify what is in the spotlight of your child’s attention. Find out what it is that your child is interested in playing with or is motivated by and utilize this for gaining their attention and successfully playing with them. Take note of what they look at, what textures they touch, what sounds they seem to enjoy, what areas of the house they like being in etc. and try and implement these into playtime.
Step onto the “stage”; take your position. Always try and position yourself in the spotlight; in other words put yourself in front of their eyes. If you are reading a book sit in front of them (instead of beside them). If you are playing a game on the ground, lift the game up and off the ground onto a small table so their face is more likely to look at yours when they glance up.
Eliminate the competition. Remove all surrounding distractions. For example, turn off the TV, remove screens, go into a quiet room, remove loose toys etc. This will help you gain the attention of your child and in turn will aid in successfully playing with them.
Identify your child’s social comfort zone. It’s important to find out where your child feels the most comfortable. For example, some children with autism might feel really uncomfortable if they are sitting too close to someone. Try and start observing at what distance your child feels the most comfortable and then stay in that zone while trying to play with them. For example, if you notice your child turns their head away and moves their body when you are close, back up a little and see how they respond.
Join in by following your child’s lead. It is common for parents to try and introduce a new toy or game that they think will captivate their child’s interest when the child is already playing with a different toy. For example, if a child is holding a block a parent might try and show their child a new book or stuffed animal. However, playing and communicating with all children will be much more successful when you follow their lead. You can start doing this by using the Hanen approach of OWL-ing which means Observe-Wait-Listen. This will help you find out what they are doing and in which ways you can join in on the fun. Some examples of ways you can join in by following their lead are: actively listening, narrating what they are doing or being a sports broadcaster, offering help, providing space for communication temptations, and imitating what they are doing.

Check out my post on common SLP recommendations given to parents for more ideas!

Find the ESDM parent manual on amazon by clicking here and amazon.com by clicking here.

I hope you find this useful!

-Shannon

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